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I am so excited about Darlene Bishop's ministry and this chat forum is great! Well, my husband and I have know each other since 1992, we met unsaved and had a two children not being married and lived together. I did not grow up a Chrisitian but he did. Throughout from 1992 to 1995, the relationship was abusive, he was physically, mentally and emotionally to me. Finally, I left in 7/95 and went to a womans shelter for abuse and their children. I left to NY with family and they helped me and I graduated college, a two year program and was blessed with a job along with living with my parents who bought a house in Westchester. There was strife amoung me and my mom and my dad and it was stressful at times. In 2000, I was being led by God to read my bible, listen to Charles Stanley and just seek him. I called my childrens father and he moved from LA back to NJ, at the time, my mom and I had a fight and she kicked us out so we moved in together, then the abuse started again towards all of us. We started to go to church and got saved. Then the Pastor talked to us about getting married, etc. We married in 2001. Even though we were saved not much changed. The physical abuse towards me did stop but it was emotional and mental. I left him last year in 2005 and he moved to GA and I stayed in NJ. throughout the year my son was behaving very badly towards me and his two sisters so he moved with his Dad and then he kept pressuring me to move with them, etc. He was still manipulating me and controlling me and overwhelming me. As of 4/06 me and the girls moved to GA with them. He is still controlling and says not nice things to me and is hard toned in his speech and can be mean. God revealed to me that b/c he has been abused sexually, mentally and controlled and manipulated by others growing up this is why he is like this and needs to be broken and healed. We are in counseling with our Pastor and he reccomends we go to individual counseling. I am in the place, do I leave to survive for me and the kids or do I stay and keep going on like this. I love my family and have gone above and beyond for all of them. I can't make him change and he can;t make me change but do I stay and be bleeding and lifeless while he is not changed. I have been depressed and lifeless and days have gone by where i did not even get out the bed. Yet God is still faithful to us all. I am fasting everyday, praying but I am not seeing anything different from him. Until he faces his demons he won't change b/c his heart is hard toward God to change him. I pray for God to help me through this too, I need a job, I want to open my own womens shelter and help other woman who have been where i have been get through it with Gods help. Be blessed everyone who reads this! God showed up for me at church on Sunday and I bless him and love him, the spirit of depression has been lifted off me b/c of God's power! Praise God! |
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